Every time i pack my backseat of my car full of crap, i cant help but wonder who would clean out everything if i got into a car accident.

When people start talking about their church groups i start thinking about my next nap time opportunity.

Photo: Salty Hamburger slime best part of meal! http://tumblr.com/xeemk1ual

I hate when people say something is over my head, its not, your just an idiot who can’t explain things clearly.

People say that”indian giving” is racist but i dont think so cause i would do it too if Columbus was raping and killing my wife and children

I like talking to friends on the phone that talk a lot cause i can play computer games and they walk away thinking im a great friend.

Only idiots dress up to go to the laundromat, oh sorry all of orange county, did i offend you?

Photo: Nah this is the highlight of my day. http://tumblr.com/xeek2ov0s

I’m going to disneyland for the 1st time today. If there are any screaming children there I’m leaving.

I know its hot out when if someone broke into my house and tried to rape and kill me, i wouldnt put up a fight.

My favorite type of sunscreen is the one with the child porn and the perverted dog.

Lady Gaga’s music makes me crave a monster drink.

The only dogs i like are ones that are silent, submissive and obedient. Oh, i just described my perfect boyfriend too.

When my cat sits with his mouth hanging open a bit its a invite for me to stick my tongue in his mouth. What a little slut.

I can tell how hard i worked by the amount of blood and brownish mucous collects on my pants in 1 day.

I can tell how much i miss my cat by the amount of times i kiss dogs with yeast goo on their foreheads.

Trust me, if you worked at a vet clinic you would not love all dogs. Or even most dogs. Or very few dogs.

When all else in life fails I turn on 20/20 on WE.

My boyfriend told me I am sick on many levels which is the nicest thing I have heard all day.

I dont know why people stretch before/after they run. I love the feeling of being sore the next day, every step i take is a pat on the back.